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Sizzle.

This powerful piece of onomatopoeia is usually associated with bacon or burgers, but in my brain it is the direct route to surefire weight loss.

Sizzle is the tiny little spark that ignites my desire to look hot (or at least be able to walk around on a warm day without starting an agonizing burn between the sweaty pads of my  inner thighs – I’m talking about chafing here for those of you who do not have copious amounts of inner thigh padding).

Much to Tony’s dismay, igniting my sizzle spark has very little to do with him. Frankly, it is his own fault because he loves me no matter what; just the way I am (the cad). He once said to me after I lost 40 pounds that removing eight roasting chickens worth of flab from my body “did not make me a better person.”

He didn’t actually say the chicken part, that is just how I like to visualize my fat; five pound roasting chickens dangling from my appendages, clinging to my buttocks, wrapping themselves around my internal organs, nesting under my breasts . . . .

“That doesn’t make you a better person,” he said tenderly and with love. To help him prove his point, I gained back every pound and threw two more chickens on my back, just under my shoulder blades.

I could write an entire post or twenty about how losing weight does not make one a better person. In fact, I have stopped showing folks my real before photos, the pictures of my 250 pound self (that is a lot of chicken), because their shocked reaction is too painful. I am still the person in the photo.

But this is not a discourse with any depth, this post is about the power of shallow.

Sizzle power.

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Back when I was young, before I became Aunt Bee, six years ago, a sizzle moment may have included someone who looked like our Spin instructor, Luis. He is the gorgeous man in the photo up top. He’s 42, married, and even Tony thinks he is attractive. More importantly, Luis is also a very nice person who reads to his son every night and makes sure even when one is the only Aunt Bee in the Spin class that one feels like one belongs there. 

Striking good looks alone is not enough to elicit sizzle (because as Tony will tell you being a hot Spin instructor does not make one a better person). However, striking good looks coupled with a friendly, sincere demeanor (aka not letting on to one’s pity for the chicken lady) is definitely worthy of a sizzle moment.

Nonetheless, Luis did not make me sizzle. I’m old enough to be his aunt!

Nope, Luis did not light this latest flame, but he IS going to help keep it burning. I lost one whole chicken this week!

So who, or rather what is the source of my latest sizzling inspiration?

Hot Europe!

I am not walking around Paris in the summertime with these chickens!

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Photo credits: I copied Luis’s photo from his personal training blog – I would include the Web address here, but then it would link back to this post; if he is like many of the other men who visit this blog, he won’t actually read the words, and he will think I am a stalker with an Andy Griffith fetish. So, no link.  Anirrudha provided me with the photo of Aunt Bee, and the other one came from Google images.