This morning we went to the farmer’s market (I was bummed I forgot my cool market basket from Secrets and Memories of a French-born Hostess). The market was huge and beautiful and full of enthusiastic shoppers of all ages (I bought this mosaic that looks like Cassidy). However, as we made our third pass through, I started feeling overwhelmed; it reminded me a little of Ikea.
It is so odd to live somewhere where one has access to anything and everything one can possibly imagine. There is a mall at every freeway exit (there is a freeway). The “mall” in Tahoe consisted of Freshies Restaurant, Baskin-Robbins, a used book store (that was never open), and a pirate store (not sure how they stay in business). In Tahoe if we wanted to shop at a mall, we had to drive to Reno, 60 miles away (in a blizzard and uphill both ways – really). Here, the entire city of San Francisco is only six minutes away (although I don’t think there is a pirate store).
I asked Tony if he felt like this was home yet, and he said he felt a little disconnected. Disconnected is a good description for this transition in our family’s life. It’s an odd feeling to have pieces of me walking around the planet without me. It’s an odd feeling to have a routine that revolves wholly around Tony, Julie, and the dog.
For the past ten years, Cassidy has been in the background (or the backyard), now he is in the backseat; he goes everywhere with us – he is the centerpiece of the empty nest. As much as I love Cassidy and our romantic empty nest, I wasn’t prepared for how completely discombobulating this new life would be; my perpetual state of dizziness doesn’t help me feel any more settled (I am happy to report that the chances of dying from dizziness are 20%, but only if one falls and fractures one’s hip which seems like something I can cross off my things to worry about list).
I’m not complaining; I Iove it here. I love jogging at the base of the Golden Gate Bridge, taking the dog for long walks everyday, and I love having access to so much fresh, healthy food.
As Tony said as we walked out of the market, “I feel healthier already, and all of the meat in Marin is Vegan!”